


One of the Drunks

by bringmesomepie



Series: In the Spirit of Song [26]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Drunk Dean Winchester, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Hurt Dean Winchester, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Jealous Castiel, Lawyer Sam Winchester, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Sick Dean Winchester, Stubborn Castiel, past Castiel/Hannah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2019-07-14 23:11:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16050506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bringmesomepie/pseuds/bringmesomepie
Summary: It started out as the norm. Dean was a social drinker. The man could hold his liquor better than most men, but it was becoming a too frequent occasion.





	1. Welcome to the Club

**Author's Note:**

> For the record, no i have not put in all the tags. I will as i go along so there are no spoilers. :D I hope you enjoy!

“How can you play this, Cas? I have tried for hours and it’s like the game wants to fuck me until I like it.” Sam snorts as he got up from the couch. “Want another beer?”

“This is an offshoot of Dark Souls, so yes, it does fuck me until I like it, but Bloodbourne is exclusive to PS4 and somewhat different.” Cas stared at the TV screen with laser focus. “Yes, I would love another one.”

There was a knock on their apartment door. Sam raised an eyebrow as he handed his friend a new beer. “You expecting anyone at 2am?”

“Sam…Charlie and Jo are in Barcelona for three more weeks, Benny and Dean have work in the morning, along with Meg, Gabe, Anna and Cole. Hannah is currently working the graveyard shift. IT’s only you and I that don’t have work tomorrow.” 

“You could have just said no.” Sam grunt and looked through the peephole. He turned and looked at Cas then opened the door. “Do you know what time it is? Why are you here? You have to be at Bobby’s at 6.”

“Hiya, ta yu too, S’mmy. Cassie! Hiya, Buddy.” Dean stumbled into the living room reeking of booze. “What’d’re ya’ll doin?”

Cas paused the game walked over to the older Winchester. “Dean, it’s Tues…now Wednesday, why are you drunk?”

Dean gracelessly covered Cas’s mouth with his hand. “Shhh….i don’t wanna talk about that. We’re gon go to your room, now.” The Winchester tugged Cas’s arm and almost fell backward.

“Whoa there, Man. Come on, we’re gonna sit on the couch and I’ll get you some water.”

“No, Cas is gonna take me to his room.” Dean frowned.

“Not while you’re this drunk. Dean, I will not take advantage of you, ever.” Cas guided Dean to the couch. “Sit, please.”

“What are you talking about, Dean? Why do you want to go to Cas’s room? Cas, what are you talking about? What the Fuck?” Sam stood confused.

Cas sighed. “It’s nothing, Sam. Dean and I fucked a lot in high school and the first and second year of college. Once Dean started dating and getting serious with Cassie we ended things. I started dating Hannah and things are fine.”

“Things are not fine and you know it, Casiel.” Dean slurred. “Hannah broke up with you four months ago.”

“I know that, Dean. I was there when it happened. Hannah and I ended on good terms. Why did you get drunk on a Tuesday night? What happened? Cassie has to be worried sick.” Cas sat down on the coffee table in front of Dean.

Dean tugged at his wedding ring. “I don’t give a damn about Cassie!” He clumsily chucked the gold band across the room. “Son of a Bitch!”

“Jesus Christ, Dean, lower your voice. You know Rufus hates it when you come over here to holler.” Sam handed Cas the glass of water for Dean.

Cas held Dean’s jaw. “Drink.”

_*** &^%$#%)(*&^%$^&*()_** _

Dean wouldn’t leave Cas’s side. The Novak decided to keep playing Bloodbourne, since Dean was content in just watching. Sam decided to head to bed so he could handle hungover Dean in the morning which would be a battle. Around five in the morning, and three glasses of water later, Dean was showing signs of sobering up. “I’m leaving her.” Dean mumbled out of nowhere.

“You’ve been married to Cassie for four years. Y’all have been in fights before. What happened that this fight is any different than the last ones?”

“She’s pregnant…”

“So, you and her have been trying for like less than a year. That’s a good things, right?” Cas paused the game.

“The baby is not mine.” Dean whispered.

“How could you possibly know that for sure?” Cas set his controller down.

Dean sat up and looked at his best friend. “When she miscarried right before you and Hannah broke up, she became distant. I thought she needed time…fuck, I needed time. We didn’t even start having sex again until two weeks ago.” Dean paused. The Novak could see tears building up in his eyes. Dean Winchester only shows emotion when drunk. “So, how the _fuck_ is Cassie 3 months pregnant?”

Cas pulled Dean in close. “It’s ok, man.”

“I tried to confront her and she kept going on and on about when we went to Atlantic City and we got drunk and fucked like crazy a month after she miscarried. She told me I probably forgot.” Dean gripped Cas’s shirt. “Fuck, Cas, you know I get major whiskey dick. If I couldn’t get it up on our wedding night because I was that drunk, how the fuck could I have gotten it up less drunk three months ago?”

“It’s gonna be ok, Dean. I’m here for you.” Cas rubbed his best friend’s back. “How about we both go get some sleep and when we wake up if you’re not too hung over we can move your stuff out of the house and you can move into here with me and Sam. We have that extra room we don’t use. It would also be helpful to split the rent into thirds every month.”

Dean snorted at the joke. Cas called that a win to get his best friend to smile. “Thanks, Cas.”

Cas turned off the game and rose to his feet. “Let’s get you to the spare bedroom.”

“No…please, I don’t wanna be alone.” Dean whimpered. “Please, I’m not saying that we fuck…but can we share a bed like old time right after college?”

“Of course.” Cas nodded.

_**(* &^%$#%^&*&^%$%^&*()** _

Dean was still sleeping hard when Cas woke up at noon. The Novak got up to find Sam sitting at the island drinking coffee and on his laptop. He glanced up when Cas entered the kitchen. “How’s Dean? I saw that he wasn’t on the couch or in the spare room…so I guess he slept in bed with you.”

“Yeah, he insisted that he didn’t want to be alone tonight.”

Sam sighed. “He must have been seriously drunk. I gotta figure out how much he drank.”

“I’m going to guess a lot. He reeked of Whiskey last night. We all know that Dean can hold his liquor and for him to get on the border of black out drunk is a lot.” Cas poured himself a mug of coffee for himself. “What all did you hear about Dean’s situation for why this happened?”

“No, I went straight to bed. You remember hungover Dean.”

“Who else was gonna calm him down? I had to take one for the team. At least with him sleeping in my bed was that I could make sure he was sleeping on his side.”

“Did he puke any? That’s not normal for Dean. He never actually drinks to that point, except for the next day when he’s hungover.” Sam took a swig of his coffee.

“Do y’all really think I can’t handle my liquor?” Dean walked into the kitchen, looking fine. “Other than a headache, I’m fine.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “You’re lying.”

“Like Hell I am.” Dean furrowed his brow. “I’m gonna head out. Thanks for dealing with my drunk ass.”

“Did you drive here?” Sam stood up.

“No, even drunk me won’t do that. I walked…I think.” Dean started toward the door.

Cas rushed over. “No, Dean, we were going to go together, remember?”

“No, I don’t. Even though I don’t want to, me and Cassie have to talk things out while we both have clear head. She texted me this morning.” Dean spoke as he walked out.

_**(* &^%$%^&*^%$^&*()_** _

“Why didn’t you go after him, Cas? You’re his best friend. He’s in denial. Dean will do anything in his power to keep his relationship with Cassie. That’s just what Dean does. Even if the baby isn’t his.” Sam groaned as he leaned over the counter.

“What was I supposed to do? Tell him don’t do it because I said so?” Cas groaned. “If anything Cassie will probably want to be with the actual father of the baby.”

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose. “Just watch. Dean would go to levels of accepting that the baby might not be his.”

“That won’t happen. Cassie will get a paternity test.” Cas sat down on the couch. “Why are you bringing this up? It was two weeks ago. Did you hear from Dean?”

“Yes, and he is still living with Cassie. Things are bad, Cas. He is severely in denial. You gotta go talk to him.” Sam walked over to his roommate. “He said that him and Cassie made up and are making things work.”

Cas frowned. “I can’t believe him. We talked…yeah he was drunk off his ass, but he was unloading everything he was feeling.”

“That’s Dean. You and I know him very well. He is going to deny all of his emotions for what he thinks is right. The last thing he wants for that child…is a broken home. We had enough of that when Mom died and Dad brought over random women.” Sam crossed his arms over his chest.

“I’ll talk to him this week.”

_***( &^%$#$%^&*&^%$%^&*()_** _

Things got busy and Cas never got a chance where his and Dean’s schedules lined up. Cas was working late in the living room filling out the last of his paper work before letting himself relax for his long weekend. Sam sat beside him playing Resident Evil. “Dude, it’s like 9, wanna order a pizza?”

“Sure, I should be finished with these fucking files by the time it gets here. Wanna do the honors?” Cas groaned as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Sam had just brought his cell to his ear when someone pounded on the door. “That can’t possibly be the pizza already. We don’t order it that often.”

Cas got up and walked to the door. “HEY! Cas!” Dean blurted out. Benny was keeping him upright. "What's going on, buddy?!”

“What the Hell?” Cas’s eyebrows shot up into his hairline.

“We were playing poker at my place and it was double after double of whiskey…he got shit faced then started chugging beer after beer. He ran me dry of liquor. Take him cause, brother, I got work in the morning. I already let Bobby know that he will be too hungover to work. Bobby groaned and told me to get him to seek help.” Benny groaned.

“Has he been getting drunk more often?” Cas frowned. “I haven’t seen him in a couple weeks.”

Benny shook his head. “I think he’s been drunk more than sober since he found out Cassie was pregnant. Something must be going on in the bedroom.”

Dean smirked and stumbled forward. Benny braced him and Cas flinched as he went to catch his best friend. “Is Sammy home?”

“Come in, Dean. Thank you, Benny. Go home, Andrea probably isn’t in the best mood at the moment.”

“Hell yeah, make sure he gets some sleep and I would hide all the liquor.” Benny frowned. “I’m sorry for throwing him in your lap.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m glad you did. Dean is in good hands with me and his brother.” Cas helped Dean into the apartment. “C’mon, Dean, let’s bring you to the couch.”

Sam walked in from the living room with his arms crossed over his chest. “Hey, Dean you should drink some water.”

“Hey, Sammy!” Dean mumbled.

Both the younger Winchester and Novak were stunned. They have never seen Dean drunk to the point of not being able to walk without assistance. Cas lead his best friend to the couch. “What’s going on, Dean?”

“Nothing, Man. What’s going on with you?” Dean smiled brightly.

Sam frowned. He could see the Dean’s red rimmed, puffy eyes. His brother had been crying. “Talk to me, Man. What’s going on with you?”

“I can’t visit my brother every now and again? I can’t visit my best friend as well.” Dean snorted. “Do you still have that Bourbon that I got you on your birthday?”

Castiel stopped the older Winchester from getting up from the couch, but it wasn’t working. “No, you have had enough to drink.” Dean struggled with his best friend but wasn’t going to going to give up. So the Novak hopped into Dean’s lap with a leg on either side of the Winchester. He cupped Dean’s jaw and slammed his lips against Dean’s.

Dean instantly melted into the kiss. He wrapped his arms around Cas’s torso. Sam walked into the kitchen to grab Dean some water. By the time the younger Winchester came back the two men had stopped making out and the older Winchester was sobbing into Cas’s chest with the Novak still straddling the drunk man. “What—“

“It’s ok, let it all out. Stop bottling up your emotions. Let the tears fall.” Cas cooed as he stared at Sam confused. “Come on, Dean. Let’s go lay down. You need to rest.”

“Don’t leave me, Cas.” Dean whispered ever so lightly. Only Castiel could have heard.

“I would never.” Cas nodded as he got off his best friend.

Dean gripped Cas’s shirt and pulled him in close and looked at Cas with his glassy, red-rimmed eyes. “I’m serious, Cas. Don’t leave me. I need you.”

“I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” Cas rubbed Dean’s back.

“No.” Dean shook his head. “Don’t. Ever. Leave. Me. I know I’m messed up and I know I have a problem, but you’re the only thing besides Sammy that hasn’t kicked me to the side.”

Sam walked over to the two men and sat down on the coffee table. “Dean, you need some sleep. Cas is gonna take you to his bedroom and y’all are both gonna lay down.”

“Yes, that’s a good idea, Man. Can you walk?” Cas pulled himself off the drunk man. Dean stumbled to Cas’s bedroom with the Novak keeping him upright.

_*** &^%$%^&*(*&^%$^&*()P_** _

Cas woke up to an empty bed. For a second he thought that Dean had left, until he heard retching from the bathroom. The Novak sat up and looked around. He pulled himself to his feet and walked out into the hallway. Sam was already standing in the doorway propped against the frame. “Good, good, that was a good one, big brother.”

“Shut up.” Dean groaned then heaved again.

“You’ll feel better when you let it all out.” Sam shook his head. “Need some more water?”

“Yes, please.”

Cas stepped beside his roommate. He glanced at Sam and saw the bags under his eyes. “How long have you been here?”

Sam handed the hungover Winchester a bottle of water. “Well, it’s 7:30am now, so 3 hours…or so.”

“Why didn’t you wake me? I would have helped so you could get some sleep.” Cas frowned.

“What would you have done? I have been here making sure Dean doesn’t choke on his vomit or get dehydrated.” Sam shrugged. “I’m surprised you didn’t wake up earlier. He couldn’t work his legs and puked in your waste basket beside your bed. Don’t worry, I already cleaned that up.”

“Yall are talking too loud.” Dean groaned and spat into the bowl. “I didn’t think I had that much to drink.”

Cas looked at Sam worriedly. Sam was mirroring Cas’s expression. “Dean, do you remember how you got here?”

Dean lulled his head and looked at his best friend. “Where am I again?”

“Fuck, Dean. Benny drove you here last night. You were drunk off your ass.” Sam huffed. “You’re at Mine and Cas’s place.”

“How the fuck did Benny get me? I didn’t see Benny last night.” Dean groaned. “I was drinking a glass of whiskey, now I’m here surprisingly hungover.”

“You reeked of booze.” Cas scolded. “How much have you been drinking lately, Dean? This is unlike you.”

“Shut the fuck up and let me puke in private.” Dean groaned and shoved his face back into the basin.

“Come on, Cas, it’s pretty fucking early. Dean is sober enough that I’m not worrying about him. I’m going to get some more sleep.”

_**(* &^%^&*()(*&^%^&*()_** _

Cas didn’t stay at home. He drove to Dean’s house. Cassie’s car was in the driveway when he parked. He walked to the door and knocked. Cassie answered the door, barely showing at all. She looked at Cas with a worried expression. “Castiel? What are you doing here? Where’s Dean? Is he ok?”

“He’s extremely hungover, but fine.” Cas informed. “Has he been drinking more?”

“Well…sure. Things have been stressful the past few months. Dean and I are patching things up. Yeah, he found out about the affair, but the baby is truly his. We looked at the results together. I thought he was just stressed from work or something.” Cassie bit his fingernail. “What happened?”

“He went to Benny’s drunk, drank all of Benny’s liquor, then Benny took him to mine and Sam’s place…he is currently hungover, glued to the toilet.” Cas smirked. “I know that Dean drinks a lot as is, but things are getting really bad. You have to be honest with me. Is Dean drinking much more than normal, every day?”

Cassie frowned. “Yes, he has. I have been letting him, because we don’t fight when he drinks. For once, we have been having days where we aren’t screaming at each other. I keep the liquor cabinet full and Dean is content.”

“You’re enabling him, Cassie. I understand that you are trying to keep your blood pressure down and trying to keep the peace, but don’t you think it would have been better if you just split up.”

“I’m not raising a child in a broken home, Castiel. You might not understand that being gay, but this baby is mine and Dean’s. He or she will have a Mommy and Daddy.”

Cas raised an eyebrow. “You don’t think I understand your situation because I’m gay?”

“You don’t have the ability to carry a child. You don’t understand a broken home.”

“Fuck you. I’ll have you know that I am a child of a broken home. My father left me and my three brothers and one sister when I was 5. My mother married a lovely lady. Her name is Abby. So, fuck you again. You don’t deserve Dean. His soul is too pure for this. You have done nothing but hurt him. You let him do this to himself. Dean isn’t the same Dean I have known.”

“Dean hasn’t been the same since…” Cassie started but shut her mouth. She looked away from the Novak.

“Since when? How long have you and Dean been hiding this problem?” Cas snapped. Cassie flinched at Cas’s aggressive tone. She brought her hands to her middle as if protecting it. The Novak stood confused for a moment, then it hit him. “Does Dean hit you?”

“NO!” Cassie blurted out.

“Then what?!”

Cassie stepped backward. “Come in, let’s talk inside.”

The Novak obeyed and stepped into the house. He took a deep breath to calm down before speaking again. “What’s going on, Cassie?”

“Dean hasn’t been the same since the day we got engaged. Something changed then. His social drinking turned to having to have at least one beer a day to at least one glass of whiskey and a beer, to a six pack, to a double of whiskey and a six pack…it was gradual until the wedding. The first year, Dean was quiet. We rarely saw each other, we slept on far end of the bed. Suddenly, out of nowhere Dean comes home drunk, less drunk than normal, but nevertheless he had been drinking. He told me that he loved me, but wasn’t in love with me.”

“Ok, why did you stay married with him if he wasn’t in love with you?” Cas frowned as he sat down on the couch as Cassie did the same.

“I love Dean to death. I wanna be with him forever.” Cassie cried. “I asked Dean if we could start trying to have a baby and he was on board. When I got the positive pregnancy test it was first time in a long time that I had actually seen Dean happy, genuinely, happy.”

Cas watched Cassie smiled then frown. She didn’t look Castiel in the eyes. He was fighting the swell in her throat. “It was like dream shattering when I miscarried. Suddenly, Dean started coming home less and less, taking more doubles, and going with Bobby to conventions and business trips…I was lonely and I had an affair…one. It was one guy. I needed comfort and Dean wasn’t giving me any. The man didn’t get me pregnant. I promise. I felt bad about what I had done so I took Dean to Atlantic City. He got drunk and we fucked all night.”

“Dean has bad whiskey dick, Cassie. I was on that trip too, you know. I had just broken up with Hannah and Dean brought me along to meet somebody. I was the one to bring Dean’s drunk ass back to yours and his room.” Cas frowned.

“He was already hard when he got to the room. He was fucking me like he was fucking a different person.” Cassie hid her face in her hand. The Novak placed his hand on Cassie’s thigh. She lifted her head. “I thought having a baby would make things better between us. I thought Dean would love me again if we had a baby, but it has only makes things worse. Dean sleeps in the guest room when he’s not passed out on the couch and he won’t look at me in the eyes anymore.”

“Darling, I think you need to lay down for a little while and calm down. Dean is in good hands with his brother at the moment. I am going to head back to my apartment and talk with him. I want you to relax, drink water, watch TV and not worry. If there are any body that can get through to Dean, it’s me and Sam.”

_**(* &^%$^&*()*&^%^&*()_** _

Cas knew something was wrong the moment he stepped through the door at his apartment. Things were knocked over and pictures were on the floor, cracked. Most importantly, it was the hollering he heard from the kitchen. He rushed to the noise to find Sam pinning Dean down on the ground. The older Winchester had a busted lip and a prominent bruise blossoming on his left cheekbone. The younger Winchester was definitely gonna have a black eye, and had one serious nosebleed that stained the front of his shirt. The Novak was afraid Sam might have broken his nose.

“Get off of me, Sam.” Dean growled.

“You need help, Dean.”

“Fuck off!”

“You got black out drunk last night, was puking your brains out hung over this morning and you thought the smart idea was to drink your best friends and brother’s liquor? Hell no!” Sam blurted out.

Dean arched his back and scissor his way out of his brother grasp and flip the younger brother off him, so the older sibling had the upper hand again. This time Dean was not trying to stall his brother to give him time to grab the drink. He gripped Sam’s shirt fabric and nailed him across the jaw, then repeated that two more times. Blood drooled out of Sam’s mouth. Cas went into action and tackled his best friend. Dean crack his head against the tile floor forcing the Winchester into unconsciousness. Cas scrambled over to Sam and helped his roommate to a chair. “What happened?”

Sam groaned. “Not now. We need to get Dean in a car and to the hospital. I want him admitted into an inpatient rehab center for alcoholism.”

“You’re hurt, Sam.” Cas examined his friend’s injuries.

“Cas…” Sam pushed the Novak away. “I have had harder hits from my dad, I’m fine. Yeah, it hurts, but I’m scared about Dean. I’m not worried anymore…I’m fucking terrified.”

The Novak frowned and was silent for a moment. He looked over at Dean’s limp body. The man was not well. He turned back to Sam and nodded. “Once Dean is being treated, you’re getting examined. You might have a broken nose and maybe a cracked jaw.”

“My nose is broken. I felt it when it happened. That doesn’t matter, I’m fine. This was the last straw. Dean always told me that I would have to stop him if he started acting like my father.” Sam began lifted his brother in his arms. The man had lost weight. Cas knew that Dean wasn’t eating, just consuming alcohol. The Novak grabbed Sam’s keys and opened the back door. Both Winchester were gonna sit in the back seat. Cas punched it the second Sam was buckled in.

It took about 15 minutes before Dean woke up. “Huh? Fuck.” Dean groaned and doubled over.

“We’re almost there.”

“Almost where?” Dean shot up, forgetting about his pain. “Sam! Cas! Almost where!?”

“Rehab.” Sam spoke calmly. “It’s time, man. You’re not well. You made me promise to do this.”

Dean blew air out of his nose. “Sam, I’m fine. Things have been a little stressful. Nothing’s wrong about drinking to relax.”

“You’re right, but it is wrong to drink everyday until you get black out drunk, wake up hungover and drink more until you are drunk again. You have a wife and a baby on the way. You’re one step away from being Dad. I’m not going to let that happen. You made me promise. Don’t break your own promise.” Sam frowned.

“I don’t need rehab, Sammy. I can stop. I will stop. I’m not like John.” Dean pleaded.

Sam looked at his hands. “Really? You’re not like John. Look at me. Really look at what you did to my face and tell me this doesn’t look familiar. If that doesn’t make you realize, then look in a mirror.”

“It won’t happen again, Sam. Give me one more chance. I can’t stop working right now. I need to keep saving up for the baby.” Dean begged as Cas pulled into a parking space. “Don’t make me do this, Sammy. Please.”

Sam unbuckled himself. “You can either walk in there yourself or I will carry you. Either way you are going.”

Cas was right outside Dean’s door. The older Winchester stepped out and stared at his best friend. “I’m so sorry, Cas.”

“Don’t apologize, just go inside and get better.” Cas pulled his best friend in to a hug. He felt Dean bury his head into the crook of Cas’s neck. The Winchester gripped at the fabric of the Novak’s shirt. “You’re going to be fine, I promise.”

Dean pulled away and looked at Sam and Cas. Sam was at the front of the plastic piece of crap car and Cas was now just out of arms reach. “Yeah, Cas. I will. I’m sorry again.”

“Like I said don’t be sorry.” Cas stepped forward to reach for Dean’s hand.

“No, I mean I’m sorry for this.” Dean uppercut Cas and sprinted off. Sam scrambled after his brother.

“DEAN!” The younger Winchester yelled. “Somebody help and catch that man!” Even in Dean’s weakened state he could still outrun his brother.

The Winchester could hear his brother’s yells for him in the distance. His chest was pounding and his legs were burning. He whipped into an alley to catch his breath. He watched his brother run past him. Dean poked his head out and bolted in the opposite direction once Sam was far enough away. He made it back to the hospital parking lot to find Cas still out cold. He pulled Cas into the back seat took the keys, got in and drove away.

_*** &^%$%^&*()*&^%^&*** _

At some point Sam realized he had lost Dean, so he circled back to the hospital to make sure Cas was ok. His heart went directly into his lungs when he got back and not only was Cas gone, the car was too.

Part of him wanted to believe that Cas probably woke up and drove to find Dean faster, but the majority of him knew that Dean had circled back much earlier and took the car and probably Cas. The younger Winchester called an Uber and rode it back to the apartment. He was shocked to find Cas’s car in the parking lot. He hopped out and walked into the home. “Cas?”

Sam stepped into the kitchen and on the counter was a folded note with Sam’s name on it. He grabbed it and began to read:

> _Sam,_
> 
> _Cas is fine. Laying in his bed with painkillers and a glass of water when he wakes up. Stop worrying about me, now. I’m gonna be far away by the time you reach the apartment. I’m not going to become Dad if I am too far away to reach you. I need time. I know I have a problem, but it’s a problem I need to handle on my own. Don’t look for me. Just go on with your day. I’ll be back soon. When I figure out my life and sort things out. Tell Cas I’m sorry._
> 
> _~Dean_

“Dammit!” Sam yelled. He whipped around and punched the wall. He heard a gasp and a scramble from Cas’s room.

The Novak rushed into the living area with wide eyes. “Sam?”

“He’s gone. He fucking left.” Sam groaned.

Cas was quiet. “I know. He told me.”

“When?”

“I woke up on the car ride back. He told me that he was going to get better but I had to trust him. He promised me that he was going to get help, but he was going find it. He didn’t want to be forced into a hospital. I made him promise me that he was going to do as he said and not lie to me.” Cas frowned. “I told him that I would give him five years. If he wasn’t back in contact with us by then, I would hunt him down.”

Sam sighed. “You better be right in trusting him.”

“We’re going back to the ER to get you checked out. I just have a bruise, but you’re worse for wear.” Cas walked over to his friend. “Come on.”

_******* _


	2. Chapter 2

**_5 years to the Day_ **

“Get a move on, Sam. We’re gonna be late.” Jess walked out of the bathroom, while putting on her earrings. “Sam? Do you really want to be late to your own promotion party?”

There was mostly silence, so Jess walked into her and Sam’s bedroom to find the Winchester pacing the bedroom in his suit and the tie untied. He had a worried expression on his face. He had his phone to his ear. “Come on. Answer.”

“What’s going on, Sam?”

Sam ignored his fiancée and removed the phone to his ear and scrolled through his contacts. He clicked on a name and brought to cell to his ear again. He looked up and made eye contact with Jess. “Hey, Cas, have you heard from him? It’s five years to the day and we still haven’t heard from him.”

“We need to go, Sam. You’ll see Cas at the party.” Jess frowned. “This is your party.”

“If it’s my party I can show up late.” Sam snapped. Jess looked stunned. “I knew we shouldn’t have trusted him.”

It took fifteen minutes until Sam walked out of the bedroom with his tie tied. Jess rolled her eyes and got up. “You good, Babe.”

Sam frowned. “I’m ok. Today has just been a rough day.”

**_)(* &^%$%^&*()*&^%$^&*()_ **

It was a fun party. Sam got a huge promotion and he ended the night with great sex from his fiancée and they fell asleep peacefully, until Sam was pulled back into consciousness by the sound of someone moving around the apartment. Cas had moved out three years ago and Jess had moved in shortly after that.

The Winchester sat up and looked over to see Jess sound asleep, so intruder. He rose to his feet and grabbed his pistol for protection. He slowly walked out of the bedroom. Right as Sam entered the living room the intruder walked out of the kitchen. “Freeze.” Sam ordered.

“Easy Tiger.” The intruder ignored the demand and walked over to the couch and sat down. “Like you would shoot that little baby gun at me.”

Sam flicked on the light to reveal Dean. “Dean? What the fuck?”

“Miss me, Sammy?” Dean smiled.

He looked good. His frame had filled out, toned and full of life. “Of course, I missed you. It’s been five fucking years. You never contacted us and when I called your number it was out of service.”

Dean smiled. “I got a new phone, new number. I told you that I would contact you when I was ready.”

“Are you sober?” Sam crossed his arms over his chest.

“4 years, 5 months, 2 weeks and 3 days.” Dean informed. “Not a drop.”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “How am I supposed to believe you when you are holding a beer right now?”

The older Winchester smiled. He rose to his feet and handed him the beer then lifted his left hand that revealed a half drank plastic bottle of coke. “Does this make you feel better? I know that you are a light sleeper. Since you have beer in your fridge I guess that my vice hasn’t affected you.”

“You told me to stop worrying about you. So, I only drink beer for dinner sometimes. That six pack has been in the fridge for three months and you saw how many for in there.” Sam frowned. “Why are you here now? If you have been sober for so long why did you cut me out of your life?”

“Cause I better myself. I got a good job, rebuilt my life, and fixed myself.” Dean smiled. “Smile, Sammy. I’m good. Hell, I’m great.”

The younger Winchester smiled. “I’m happy for you, Dean. I know Cas is gonna be happier for you.”

Dean raised his eyebrows and beamed brighter. “Cas is still here? That’s great. I thought he would have moved back closer to his family.”

“No way, man. Cas loves his job here and he would be demoted if he moved back.” Sam smirked.

“Sam? What’s going on in here?” Jess yawned as she stepped into the living room.

“Jess, I told you about my brother. This is Dean.” Sam brought his fiancée toward his brother. “Dean, this is Jess, my fiancée.”

The Moore stepped over to Dean. “It’s nice to finally see the face Sam never stops talking about. He tells me that you went wayward a few years ago to find yourself.”

Dean laughed. “That’s one way to describe it. Sammy didn’t want to scare you off apparently. I drank a lot, it controlled my life, so I ran.”

“You look good. I’m going to head back to bed.” Jess yawned and stepped back and head to the room.

“How’s Cassie and the baby?”

Sam frowned. “You would have known if you had stayed and gotten help here.”

“Don’t start that, Sam. What happened?”

“When you left Cassie admitted to having an affair with a doctor and changing the paternity test so you would stay with her. The doctor lost his license and moved away. Cassie had an abortion and moved back to her hometown.” Sam explained. “I’m guessing you aren’t staying here or in Lawrence.”

The elder Winchester smirked. “I moved here. I live in a town house a few miles away from here. I’m here to stay, Sammy. I told you that I was going to sort things out and come back. I kept my word. It just took me some time to find the courage to come home and face you…and Cas.”

“Five years, Dean. Cas and I were going to give you five years and then we were going to start looking for you. I called Cas last night and he was calm, have you been contacting him?”

Dean shook his head. “He found out where I was another way. I need to head home. Since it’s late. Talk to you tomorrow, Sammy?”

“You’re just gonna leave again?” Sam asked.

“Gotta get home, Sammy. I have to get some sleep.” Dean smiled. “See ya tomorrow and we can really talk about the past 5 years.”

_**(* &^%$^&*(*&^%$^&*()** _

Sam sat at his desk staring off into space. He about came out of his skin when a hand slammed down onto the table top. He gasped and held back a scream. Cas smirked. “You’re out of it, Sam. What’s going on in that mind of yours? Rough night? That would be strange since it was your promotion party and you probably had so much sex with Jess.”

“Dean came back last night.” Sam answered without looking at his friend. “You knew where Dean was all this time. He told me you found out another way.”

“I can explain, Sam. I found out through my brother.” Cas frowned.

“What do you mean you found out through your brother? How could you possibly do that?” Sam lashed out. “I thought you and him were close, like fucked a few times but me and Dean are brothers.”

Cas’s face seemed to falter for a moment. “Granted, my brothers didn’t know Dean. They never met him and I haven’t talk to Dean in years.”

“If you had contact with him through your brothers why did you stop talking to him?” Sam scoffed. “I would have been calling him everyday and dragged his ass back home.”

“Dean found someone…my brother…Michael. They started dating shortly after he left. Or at least made it public to the world shortly after he left. Michael had been dating a man for a while, but was super private, but I never heard of a break up and then Dean started dating Michael. That’s probably why Dean became addicted to alcohol…to cope with his anxiety of being in the closet. Once things were out in the open completely was when I found out through Michael. I guess I got jealous of my brother.” Cas sighed. “I’ve had a crush on Dean for years now. Yeah, we were fuck buddy for a few years, but that’s all it was and Dean kept it a secret. I just wished he had fell for me and not Michael.”

“So you stopped speaking to my brother to be petty?” Sam nodded in understanding. “I get it. We said five years and then we would worry, but Dean came back before we could worry. Have you been keeping up to date with what’s going on between them two?”

Cas cleared his throat. “Uhm, I need to get going. It’s 5 o’clock.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll see you later then.” Sam raised an eyebrow. He continued to work for another hour or two before heading home. He stepped into the house and was about to call out for Jess before he heard laughter coming from the living room. It was two men and Jess. He walked into the room to see Dean sitting on the couch beside another man. Jess was in the arm chair. “Hey Jess, Dean…who is that?”

Dean smiled. “Hiya, Sammy. This is Michael.”

Sam nodded as the brother Novak rose to his feet and stretched out a hand to the younger Winchester. “Hey, how are you?”

“I’m well. Dean has told me a lot about you. All good things. Don’t worry.” Michael smiled.

“I have been talking to them for a few hours, I took Michael on a tour of Lawrence with Dean. Spent the whole day together.” Jess beamed. “If we are getting married in a few months I want to know your family.”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s fine. So Michael, Dean, when do you start work?”

Michael laughed. “Castiel never told you did he?”

“What do you mean?”

“Mike is the owner of Garrison Reality. He can work from home at his own pace and set his own schedule. I start work next week.” Dean explained. Michael looked at his watch and scooted off the couch.

He patted Dean’s thigh on the way upright. “I’m going to go check on him. Be right back.”

“He can’t sleep for much longer or he won’t at all tonight.”

“We can wear him out.” Michael smiled and walked off.

As soon as the Novak was out of ear shot Sam sat down. “Who were you talking about?”

Dean snorted. “Our son, Sammy. Michael and I have a son.”

“You have a son?”

“Yes. His name is Adam and he’s 18 months old. Don’t worry, Sammy. I’m not a carrier and neither is Michael. Hell, even if Michael was a carrier, I’m still the bottom in the relationship. We had Adam through a surrogate, but we used my sperm. Kate was amazing.”

Sam was wide eyed. Everything changed about Dean. Sam actually thought he would get married and start a family before Dean would be ready to settle down. He always knew that Cassie was wrong for Dean and that it would only end badly, but he looked happy with Michael, which made him wonder actually how long had Dean been with Michael. “That’s…that’s great.”

Dean was about to say something but Michael stepped into the room carrying a blonde hair little boy. The Novak plopped onto the couch. He bounced his knee under the toddler’s butt. “He’s a little grumpy cause Daddy woke him from his nap. He’s still sleepy.”

“Awh, Is someone a sleepy sheepy? Come to Papa baby bear. Come on use your feet so we can run to the door.” Dean plopped the boy down on the ground, then hoist the tot to his feet. The toddler whined. “Use your feet.”

“So, Michael, how long have you been with Dean?” Sam tried to make conversation. “Do y’all plan on getting married?”

Michael snorted. “Yeah, We do plan on getting married.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Sammy…” He lifted his left hand to reveal a gold band. Michael mimicked the action. “We are already married. We did it at the court about 2 years ago.”

Sam blushed and Jess got up. “Michael how about you and I go make some drinks. Dean and Sam need to talk.”

_**(* &^%$%^&*()(*&^%$^&*()** _

“So, you ran away to Pontiac? That just happened to be Castiel’s hometown…”

Dean’s smiled faltered for a moment, but looked down at his son and smiled again. “Cas probably told you about what he thought. He was correct. I’ve been seeing Michael for some time now. No one knew. It wasn’t until I ran away to him that everything got better. I came out of the closet and we got married. I stopped drinking and then we got Adam.”

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose. “You don’t get it do you.”

“What are you talking about?” Dean raised an eyebrow.

“Do you know how Cas feels about your relationship with his brother?” Sam groaned.

“Papa, wan Daddy.” Adam proclaimed.

Dean set him down. “He’s right in there, Rocket.” The Winchester looked up at his brother. “I was with Michael before I knew anything about Cas’s feeling for me. Yeah, we fucked in college, but nothing else. I slept in his bed a few times when I was drunk, but when I left I was with Michael.”

“Cas has a huge crush on you and he can’t talk to you because he’s hurt.”

“That’s his problem. He was dating Hannah when I feel in love with him. Feelings change.” Dean blurted out. “Is that what you wanted me to say, Sammy? Yes, I loved Cas, but he chose Hannah over me.”

Sam was stunned. “Whoa…”

“Yeah, Sammy, Whoa. I was in love with my best friend. Keyword _was._ I didn’t let it get to me and I moved on. I met Michael we saw each other behind closed doors. We didn’t even fuck on the first date. I love Michael now. I married Michael, I have a son with Michael. I’m not the same Dean you knew when I left. I—“

“That’s enough, Dean. I think we should go home.” Michael said sternly. “You need a level head to talk about those rough times. You aren’t calm enough.”

Jess walked over to Sam. “We need to talk, Sam.”

Dean took a deep breath. “Well, Sammy, I would love to talk about that some other time. Right now, I need to calm down and talk with Cas.”

_**(* &^%$%^&*(*&^%$%^&*()** _

“Aren’t you happy to spend time with just Papa. Daddy had to change into his monkey suit and dance.” Dean cooed as he waited for his best friend/brother in law. Cas was gonna come to the Winchester’s house. The Winchester looked at his watch. “Now, where is your uncle Cas? He was never one to be late.”

He rose to his feet and walked around the house bouncing his little son. He looked out the window that viewed the driveway and front yard. Adam giggled and pulled Dean’s shirt playfully. His phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out of his pants and looked at the caller id. Cas’s name popped up.

“Hey, Cas. I thought you were gonna come over this afternoon and chat while Michael was at work?” Dean answered.

_“I had a few things pop up and couldn’t make it. Sorry, could we possible rain check for another time?” Cas sounded sincere._

Dean rolled his eyes. “No, I know that you are making up an excuse to not see me. I know you hate that I married Michael. I know that you are jealous.”

_“How the fuck am I jealous?”_

“Really? You don’t think I know how much of a crush you had on me years ago. I know how it crushed you to find out I had been dating your brother. You wanna know something, Castiel? I had a huge crush on you for a long ass time, then you started dating Hannah. I never stopped talking to you. I got over my feeling and stayed friends with you. I fucking loved you, Cas, but you chose Hannah. Well, I chose Michael…so you can either be a man and talk to your best friend or cut tie. None of this flaky bullshit.”

The line was silent for moment. _“Why did you never tell me?”_

“Because you were with Hannah. I would have talked about this here, but you flaked. So fuck you, Cas. Show up or not, I don’t care.” Dean rolled his eyes again. He turned and walked into Adam’s nursery. Well, nursery, technically, they were already trying to make it into a big boy room for when Adam grew older, like potty trained and talking. “It’s nap time, Baby bear. Uncle Cas is being a meanie head, so we aren’t waiting for him.”

“Papa.” Adam giggled.

“That’s right, Sport. I’m Papa Bear.” Dean took his son over to the family photo of him, Michael and Adam. “Who’s that, Adam?”

“Dada.” Adam clapped.

“That’s right, buddy. What do we call Daddy?” Dean smiled. He pointed to the stuffed Monkey Dean bought when Adam started saying words. “What is Daddy?”

“Mon-key.” Adam laughed.

Dean tapped the toddler’s nose. “You bet he is.”

Adam yawned and slipped his thumb into his mouth. The Winchester pulled the digit out of the tots mouth. “Papa…” Adam whined before a paci clogged the hole.

“It’s naptime, Bub.” Dean tucked the boy into the crib. The boy curled up and cuddled his teddy. The Winchester walked out of the room and into the living room. He hadn’t been sitting on the couch for long when there was, thankfully, only a knock at the door. He got up and opened the door to reveal Cas as if he wasn’t prepared for him to be there. “Cas?”

“Hello, Dean.”

“You ready to talk?” Dean frowned. “I’ve been ready for a while now.”

The Novak smirked and stepped inside. “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. I would rather now than when Michael is around to hear what we will talk about.”

Dean crossed his arms over his chest. “I do speak to Michael. We are in a committed, honest relationship. I told him about my crush on you. I don’t keep secrets anymore.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Cas cleared his throat. “Where do we start?”

“Anywhere you want, I guess. It is you who needs answers. Want anything to drink? Any water? No alcohol. Michael keeps the house dry, only drinks at restaurants or at friends house for my benefit.” Dean smiled.

Cas shook his head. “No, I’m fine.” He watched the Winchester pick up the toys that Adam must have thrown around the living room from his place he sat on the couch. “I guess my first question is when did you start dating Michael. I mean I know I was the one who introduced you to him…but what happened?”

“Remember the first Christmas you brought along Hannah to your parent’s along with me and Cassie cause Sam was still working in Stanford right after graduation?”

“Yeah, Hannah drank too much and we turned in for the night early.”

Dean nodded. “Michael and I took a walk. We were out all night. Fell asleep on a park bench. We exchanged number and texted each other constantly. It was just a friendship cause I was with Cassie.”

“Wait, I had been dating Hannah for six months at that time and you hadn’t even married Cassie yet. You two were just living together at the time. That means…”

“It means I have been friends with your brother for over ten years. I loved Cassie, I did. I was happy with her…”

“No you weren’t. If you were you wouldn’t have started drinking…”

“Right, We both weren’t clean in the relationship. I’m not a violent drunk, until the hangover comes. I never hurt Cassie. I loved her, but I was not _in love_ with her. The longer I stayed with her, the less happy I got. Drinking made everything feel ok. Only reason I still had a job at Bobby’s was because he is like a father to me.” Dean explained. “About two years into our marriage I started visiting Michael more often. Told Cassie I was going to convention and business trips with Bobby. On nights that Michael came here I would tell her that I was working late or doubles.”

Cas shook his head. He rose to his feet. “I can’t, Dean. I can’t listen to how you fell in love with my brother. You don’t understand how happy I am that you are better and happy, but I can’t handle you with another man, especially since that other man is my older brother.”

Dean frowned and stood. “What do you want me to tell you, Cas? Want me to tell you that Michael is not who he want you to think he is? Want me to tell you that he beats or scolds me? Want me to tell you that I’m just settling?”

“You’re unbelievable, Dean. I gotta go.” Cas frowned angrily and stormed out of the house.

The Winchester rushed to the front porch and watched his best friend drive away. “Because Michael is doing that all to me….” He whispered to himself and stepped back into his house to resume the fake façade the elder Novak pulled over everyone eyes.

_******* _


	3. Chapter 3

He stared at himself in the mirror late one night. Eyes red-rimmed and puffy, along with tears brimming his waterline. “You’re ok. You’re ok. He only does this because I’m sick. I deserve this. He’s doing this because he loves me. He doing what’s best for me.” He splashed his face with water and tried to calm down his breathing. The bathroom door opened to reveal Michael.

“What are you doing up, Darling?” Michael spoke calmly.

“Just had a nightmare. I’m ok, Babe, really.” Dean cleaned his face of the water. “I’m just going to hit the head, then go back to bed.”

Michael stepped forward and tilted Dean’s head up by his chin. “You’ve been crying.”

Dean nodded. “Moment of insecurity.”

“It’s ok, Babe. We are all human. It’s ok to cry. You don’t have to hide tears.” Michael pulled his husband into his arms. “Take your time. Collect yourself. Then come back to bed.”

The Winchester nodded as the elder Novak shut the bathroom door. How could Michael be soft and comforting, but also a controlling, manipulative psycho? “He’s helping you. He loves you.” Dean whispered and headed back to bed.

He woke up to an empty house that morning. Michael had already taken Adam to daycare and headed to work. That gave Dean time to get into his set of mind that everything was ok. He drove to work and kept to himself.

It wasn’t until he was getting ready to go home when he got stopped. “Dean.”

Dean raised an eyebrow as Sam jogged over to his brother. “Sam?”

“Glad I got you before you drove home.”

“What’s up?” Dean shoved his hands in his pockets.

“You, me and Cas are going out tonight for dinner.” Sam smiled. “Just like we did years ago. Just the three of us.”

The older Winchester smiled.  “Sure, Sammy. What time? I need to head home, shower and let Mike know I won’t be having dinner with him.”

“Seven, meet us at the Roadhouse.”

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

_***( &^%$%^&*(*&^%$^&*(** _

Cas sighed. “It’s almost 8, Sam. I’m starving. He obviously didn’t want to come and flaked.”

Sam shook his head. “That’s not Dean. He looked genuinely excited. It might have something to do with Adam or Michael had to work late.”

“Whatever. I’m giving him 15 more minutes and if he isn’t here I’m ordering my food togo and leaving.” Cas frowned.

“Don’t be like that, Cas. When is Dean ever late? He can have one freebie.”

The Novak rolled his eyes and went back to playing on his phone. It was almost 9 when Dean strolled into the restaurant. He rushed over to the two men waiting on him. “Hey guys, I’m so fucking sorry. I went home, talked with Michael then took a shower. When I got out Adam was fussing. I had to deal with him that’s when the boy puked on me. He must have caught a bug from one of the kids in daycare. We had to pace around the house until the flu medicine kicked in and knocked him out. I had to shower again, then sneak out to not wake the boy again.” Dean huffed. “Sorry to keep you waiting.”

“No, it fine, like Sam says…you get one freebie.” Cas said monotonely.

“Thanks for the compassion, Cas…” Dean rolled his eyes. “So, Sammy, what made you decide to have a guys night?”

“well, you and Cas are on weird terms so I thought we could do something like we did in the good ole days.”

“Which sounded great at first, but then somebody was two hours late.” Cas huffed.

Dean frowned. “I said I was sorry. I have an 18 month old child. They get sick.”

Cas glanced down in regret of his statement. The Novak had got a glimpse of Dean’s wrist as his long sleeve plaid shirt rode up on his arms. There was an almost hand like bruise on the man’s forearm. Dean must have caught him staring and covered up the mark. “I’m sorry. I forget that you have a child.”

“Yeah, you should be. I don’t know why I truly agreed to come here tonight. I have to deal with a child not only at home, but one that I used to call my best friend. I’m sorry, Sammy.” Dean frowned.

“No, no, it’s fine. I thought that with me around you two dumbasses would mend fences or something, but apparently I was wrong. You can’t get your head out of your ass.” Sam pointed to Cas then looked at Dean. “And you trying to act like nothing happened.”

“It’s hard because of the situation. I understand that I was the one who walked out. I’m ok that y’all are mad at me about that. I was an alcoholic asshole and was turning into my father. I want y’all to know that I am ok now. I know along with me coming back and with Michael shook some leaves and my dark secrets were revealed. Just don’t be passive aggressive and petty with me. Be blunt. Tell me that I ruined our friendship for good.” Dean looked directly at Cas. “Tell me you don’t wanna see me anymore and I’ll keep my distance.”

Cas stayed quiet and ran a hand down his face. “Dean—I can’t answer that.”

“But you did.” Dean rose to his feet and walked out of the restaurant. The Novak got up and rushed after his former best friend.

“Dean! Wait!” Cas yelled, but it was too late. The Winchester had back out of his parking space and drove out. Cas was going to walk back inside, but Sam stepped out with a frown. “Sam—“

“Don’t. Just go home. I’ll talk with Dean. Give him a few days. Just stop talking.” Sam stayed calm and walked to his car.

_***( &^%$^&*()*&^%$^** _

He couldn’t just give Dean a few days. He fucked up. He couldn’t cut the Winchester out of his life. He definitely not let Dean cut himself out of Cas’s life. Once Sam left the parking lot, Cas got in his car and drove to Michael and Dean’s home. He parked on the side of the road and walked up onto the porch and went to knock when he could see in through the window the two men. He’d never seen Dean look so small. The man was 6’2, but his stance in that living room made him look like he was 4 feet tall.

Cas saw Dean start to rush off as if to get adam, but Michael grabbed Dean’s wrist. The same wrist the Novak had saw the bruise. Mike yanked Dean back over to him. In anger he whispered over to his husband. Dean nodded, but then received a slap across the face, then pushed Dean toward that stairs. Cas stepped back and composed himself he took a deep breath then knocked on the door. It only took a moment for Michael to answer the door.

“Hello, Castiel. What brings you by this late?” Mike propped against the doorframe.

“I need to talk to Dean. I fucked up tonight and I need to explain something to him.”

Michael shook his head. “Sorry, baby brother. It’s getting rather late. I have work early in the morning, so does Dean. Can it wait until morning?”

“No, I need to speak with him, now. I need to clear things up with him. Michael, I won’t be long.” Cas begged.

“He’s busy right now with Adam. I’m sure that it’s not that important.” Michael went to shut the door.

“Michael…”

“Goodnight, Castiel.”

_*** &^%$%^&*(&^%$%^&*()** _

Cas was waiting at the Auto Shop when Dean arrived that afternoon. He was taken back when he saw the busted lip Dean was sporting. Cas walked over to the man. “Dean…”

“What’s up, Cas? Sleep alright last night?” Dean smiled as if nothing happened last night. “I can’t really talk right this second. I’m kinda running late.”

“It’s important, Dean. I need to speak with you.”

“I get that, but I’m late for work. Can we speak after my shift at five?” Dean continued walking to the building.

The Novak huffed. “Don’t cut me out of your life, Dean Winchester. We have been through too much together that you can’t just throw away. Sam was right. I did need to get my head out of my ass. Fuck, man, you’re my best friend since we were in grade school. Hell, you’re now my brother-in-law. Don’t cut me out.”

Dean turned around and walked over to the younger Novak. “I wouldn’t unless you asked me to.”

“I thought you said I made my answer…” Cas frowned.

“Did you say the words “I don’t wanna see you anymore”? Cause I didn’t hear it. I needed to give you time to truly think about what you truly wanted.” Dean softly smiled.

Cas could only focus on the busted, bruised lip on Dean’s face. “How—what happened, Dean?”

The Winchester lightly tapped his finger to the swollen bump. “So, stupid me didn’t clean up Adam’s mess from last night when he was playing with his Daddy while I was gone. I tripped over one of’em and came head to head with the corner of the coffee table.”

“Can we set up another guys night for next week?” Cas offered.

“I’ll have to look at Mike’s schedule to see if he could watch Adam.” Dean shrugged. “I really have to get to work, Cas. I talk to you later.”

_*** &^%$%^&*(&^%$%^&*()** _

“Something is up with Michael and Dean, Sam?” Cas paced around Sam’s office during their lunch break. “I mean Dean walks into work today with a busted lip. I saw bruises on his wrist the night before. Dean isn’t telling us something.” 

The younger Winchester just kept munching on his lunch. “Has any of Michael previous partners have similar situations? Normally abuse is scene across the whole dating life.”

“Nothing about my family is normal.”

“Dean’s also a walking hazard. You can’t freak out about every little bump on the man.” Sam shrugged. “Trust me, Cas, is Dean ok. Emotionally, this is the happiest I’ve seen him since college. I’m not going to stare a gift horse in the mouth.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “yeah and the last time we did that Dean ran away—“

“And bettered himself. Stop worrying, Castiel. Dean is fine. He’s a big boy and can get help if he needs it.” Sam explained as his phone buzzed. “Speaking of the Devil, Dean’s calling me right now.”

The Novak sat down in the chair across from Sam’s desk. He listened to Dean’s voice, but couldn’t make out what the man was saying, but Sam’s expression worried the Novak. “What’s wrong?”

“Dean, you’re talking too fast. Why are you home? Didn’t you have work today?” Sam glanced at Cas. “Ok, I get it. Yeah, when you’re overwhelmed it’s best to walk away. I’ll pick Adam up from daycare. Are you gonna be ok at home alone? I know Mike keeps the house dry for you, but—oh he’s there…good. I’ll see you at 6.”

“So?”

“The shop was having a party for Benny’s 20th year working there. There was beer and liquor and Dean was tempted, so he went home. He’s a little shaken up and wanted me to pick Adam up for him.” Sam spoke calmly. “See, Cas? Dean is a big boy.”

“I wish I felt that way. I’ll leave you to finish your lunch.”

“Thanks.”

_**& ^%$#$%^&*()*&^%$^&*()_** _

Sam jogged over to Cas’s office right as the Novak was getting ready to leave. “Hey, Man, can you go grab Adam from daycare. I have to stay later to work on this file. Your name should allow you to pick up your nephew. Thanks!”

Before Cas could even say a word the Winchester was jogging back to his office. He pulled out his phone and called Dean. The phone went to voicemail which was unusual. So he dialed his brother’s number. Michael answered formally. “Hey, Mike, I was just letting you know that Sam had to work late today and can’t pick up Adam, so he asked me to do it for him.”

“Thanks for letting me know, Cassie, but no need. I picked him up about an hour ago while Dean was resting.”

“Great. I’ll let you and Dean have a good evening.” Cas almost hung up.

“Well, Cas, would you like to come over and spend some time with your nephew. I know you haven’t seen him much.” Michael spoke quickly.

“I don’t know. From the sounds of it…Dean had a rough day today and don’t want to overwhelm him again.” Cas rubbed the back of the neck.

Michael laughed. “Dean is fine. He came home we talked and he went to lay down. At the moment he is starting to make supper. Please, join us and spend time with me, your best friend and your nephew.”

Cas closed his eyes and sighed. “Fine, I’ll be right over.”

“Awesome, see you in a minute, little brother.” Michael hung up.

The younger Novak headed to his car and took the 20 minute drive to his brother’s house. He pulled into the driveway and walked up to the door. He was about to knock when he heard Michael’s voice. “Clean the fucking shit up, Dear. Once you’re done with that, wipe your stupid face and make yourself look presentable for once, for Christ sake.”

Cas frowned. It took a minute but he saw Dean hurry up the stairs. He chose that moment to knock. He watched through the window as Michael came to the door with a smile. “Hey Mike.”

“Hello, Cas. Adam is in his play pen waiting for supper to be served. Dean is changing, he spilt his and mine drink down his front and on the floor. I was just picking up the glass pieces.” Michael stepped back and welcomed his brother inside.

**_***_ **


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, i've been slow with the updating. I have been extremely busy with college and i just graduated and started a full time job at a hotel. I hopefully can upload more soon.

“You’re ok. You knew not to carry both glasses. Such an idiot. Michael is just being blunt. He’s telling you what you need to hear. Not what you want to hear. I’m thick-headed that’s why he yells and uses force.” Dean whispered to himself. His hands were shaking. He can’t remember the last time he had a good nights’ sleep. He can’t remember when the last time a meal had stayed down. He can’t remember a day when he’s not filled with anxiety. It wasn’t until he heard someone knock on the door that he realized that he was seeing stars and breathing at an almost hyperventilating rate. “Yes?”

“You’ve been in here for a while, it’s Cas. I came to check on you. Are you alright?”

Dean swallowed and huffed. “I’m fine. I just—need a minute.”

“Can I come in?”

The Winchester almost let out a sob at the offer. Was this the saving grace he had been praying for? “I’m f-fine, Cas.”

There was silence. Then the door opened. Fuck, he hadn’t locked it. “You’re not fine.” The younger Novak stepped in and closed the door, this time locking it. “Are you ok?”

It was a subconscious movement that he didn’t do voluntarily, but the shake of his head was all that Cas needed. “I’m calling Sam.”

“No, Cas…”

“Dean, Michael is abusing you.” Cas whispered.

“No, He wouldn’t do that. He’s helping me better myself. How else am I gonna win my battle with alcohol?” Dean rambled on.

Cas huffed and stormed out of the bathroom. “Michael!”

The older Novak hurried over to his name. “Castiel? Is something wrong with Dean?”

“Yes…something is wrong…” Cas pointed at his brother. “You are hurting Dean. The busted lip and bruised aren’t from Dean falling or hurting himself. It’s you who has been giving him those. How could you?”

Michael’s eyes darkened. “Why would you say those kinds of things about me, Castiel? We are brothers. What me and Dean do in our spare time is none of your business.”

“He was on the verge of a panic attack, Michael.” Cas pointed toward the bathroom door. The Novak didn’t know if Dean was still in there or not. “You caused that.”

“Come with me into the kitchen, Cas. I have to show you something.” Michael started walking. “I was working from home today. I thought it would be nice to have the house to myself. So I took Adam to daycare and Dean was gone by the time I had come back. I didn’t tell him that I was here today, but it was a spur of the moment type deal. It also wasn’t a huge deal, until Dean comes home in a sweat holding a fifth bourbon in his hand.”

Cas watched as his older brother grabs Dean’s bag from the coat rack that hangs beside the garage door. He pulls out the unopened glass bottle from the bag. “Mike…”

“He still does thing like this and I have to keep him on a short leash incase he drinks himself into a coma. The busted lips was granted a little too rough, but it was deserved, cause he was telling me how much he was craving his vice and so close to going out and buying it.” Michael sighed. “Every day is a battle. Dean’s been sober for almost five years and I’m not going to let him ruin that just from the stresses of the day.”

“I’m sorry I accused you. I’m protective over my best friends. You and I aren’t as close as we used to be and I thought you had changed, but I guess I was wrong. Please, forgive me, Michael.”

“Already forgotten. Head home. I need to calm Dean down for the night.”

_**& *^%$#%^&*&^%$#%^&*()** _

Weeks went by, everybody was into a routine. Guys night was on Thursdays. Sam and Cas didn’t hear a lot from Dean, but they put it off as him being busy with the growing boy.

It was the normal Thursday night, it was at Sam’s house, Cas carpooled with the younger Winchester and would just have him or Dean drive him back to his place that night or in the morning, but currently they were waiting on the elder Winchester.

“So what happens when Dean is late a second time, but we’re not a restaurant?” Cas smirked, but didn’t move his eyes from his video game.

“You’re a child…and we’ll order pizza without him, if he hasn’t come by 10.” Sam crossed his arms over his chest. Right as he sat down there was a knock on the door. “Of course, can’t even get comfy before Dean barrels in.

Cas snorted out a laugh as he shook his head. The young Winchester opened the door and was dumbfounded. “Hiya Sammy. S’rry, ‘m late. ‘ve had a rough day today.”

“How much have you drank, Dean?” Sam spoke calmly as he help his older brother walk into the living room. Dean lifted his arm revealing the 3/4th empty bottle of Jack Daniels. “Dean…”

“HA! I lost the cap so I need to finish it.” Dean took another long pull of the amber liquid. “Cas, I thought you moved out and owned your own place.”

“I did. It’s guys night, remember?” Cas raised an eyebrow, trying to not point out the elephant in the room. “How was today a rough day?”

Dean flopped on the couch and took a swig of the Tennessee Whiskey. The man snorted then lulled his head to his best friend. “I got fired today.”

Sam’s eyebrow shot up into his hairline. “Bobby fired you?”

“Apparently—he didn’t want me to work at the garage as my end all gig and told me to find greener pastures.” Dean slurred. “Little did he know that I’m just a good for nothing, failure. I need my dead-end career.”

Cas placed his hand on Dean’s shoulder as the Winchester chugged a portion of the bottle. Sam took the bottle from his brother. “You’ve had enough, Dean. Just hang tight with Cas while I call Michael. He’ll take you home and tuck you in and help you through your hangover and back on the horse.”

Dean shook his head, drunkenly. “No, don’t make me go, Sammy.”

“Why not? He’s your husband.” Sam sat down on the coffee table.

“He told me if I drank any alcohol to never step foot into the house again. I’ve had too many strikes. Sammy, he’s gonna take my boy.” Dean reached out and grabbed Sam’s thighs. “I’m turning into Dad again. I should have just killed myself to make things easier for you.”

Cas was in shock. He never thought of Dean like this. He was a happy drunk, a carefree drunk. This was different. “Dean, if you had died, things would have been worse for me.”

“I know, Cas.” Dean snapped. “All I do is fuck up with you. I can’t do anything right.”

Sam tilted his brother’s head up. “You need water, you’re not going anywhere tonight. We are here for you, Dean. You’re going to be ok. I have to call Michael in the morning though.”

Dean nodded. Cas could tell that things weren’t really registering in Dean’s head. His eyes were glazing over and the man was pale. “Sam, he’s drank too much. Bucket, I think everything’s about to come up.”

“Here you go, Dean. Hold this.” Sam spoke calmly as he dashed into the bathroom and grabbed the trash can. It was great timing cause the elder brother Winchester just doubled over and emptied most of the Jack Daniels into the plastic bin. “Dean’s alcohol tolerance has really gone downhill, which is good.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “Yeah, now we just have a black out drunk puking in your living room to babysit. He has nowhere to go and probably just lost his husband. How much good has this done. Not only has Dean fallen off the wagon, but he as ruined the life he has been trying to rebuild for five years.”

Sam huffed. “We can talk logically when we have him under control, cause right now I’m not sure he is actually here.”

“Dean?” Cas rubbed his best friend’s back. “Can you hear me, Dean?”

“Hm?” The Winchester hummed softly.

“Can you tell me where you are at?” Sam felt Dean’s face.

“’mat S’mmy’s. I m’ssed up.”

Cas frowned. “Dean, can you tell me what your husband’s name is?”

“Cas…” Dean spoke then retched up more Jack.

“No, Your husband is Michael, remember?”

“But I want you.” Dean slurred. “Michael was second best.”

The Novak just rubbed his best friend’s back. “You’re drunk, Dean.”

Dean lifted his head. “Why do you think I was attracted to Michael…C’s. He’z got dark h’ir and light eyes…like y’u. Ev’n h’s last name’s Nov’k.”

Cas nodded. Sam walked away to grab water for his brother. “Think about your son. You can’t just give up on a marriage with your son involved.”

“No.” Dean moaned. He heaved more then spit. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.”

The Winchester gripped Cas’s thigh. “Cas…”

“Here, Dean. You need some water.” Sam came back in and sat back down on the coffee table with a cup of water with a straw. “Come on, you are getting dehydrated. Drink, please.”

Dean obeyed. “Sorry, Sammy.”

“Don’t worry about it. We all fall off the wagon sometimes.” Sam shook his head.

“I’m a’ alcoholic, Sa’my…I fucked up ever’hing…” Dean swayed in his seat. “I’m a failure.”

Sam looked at Cas with concern. Cas stood up and Dean immediately looked up at the man. “We’re gonna take you to Sam’s guest room, Dean. You need to lay down, drink some more water and rest.”

“Don’t leave me, Cas.” Dean reached out for the Novak.

“Never, Dean.” Cas took Dean hand and pulled the man to his feet. It was a struggle but with the help of Sam they made it to the guest room. Cas stayed with Dean. “I think it would be a wise idea to call Michael, now.”

Sam nodded and walked out of the room. He grabbed his phone and dialed Michael. It rang a few times before the older Novak answered. “Hey, Michael, it’s Sam.”

_“I’m guessing Dean is with you. Please, tell me he is. He’s always home from work at 5:30, it’s not normal for him to not come home before heading out for guys night. He’s not answering his phone.”_

“Dean is here with me and Cas. Jess should be home within the hour, but Michael…Dean has fallen off the wagon.”

_“What? No, no, he’s been working so hard to not give into every day stresses. How bad is he? How much has he drank?”_

Sam inhaled deeply. “He’s in pretty bad shape. Black out drunk and vomiting. Good news is that his tolerance has gone done cause he only drank about a fifth of bourbon. This is a little bit worse than an everyday stress, Mike. Bobby fired him today. Bobby doesn’t want Dean to work a dead-end job for the rest of his life. Dean is wicked smart and has potential, but isn’t using it. Dean didn’t understand that and thought he was a failure and now has drank himself into black-out.”

_“I don’t want to ask so much of you, Sam, but I know how Dean is hung over and when he starts to crave his vice. I can’t ask you to watch over him for a few days, but I can’t have him around Adam in that state.”_

“Of course, that’s not something a toddler should witness. I can talk to Cas so we can flip flop. I have work in the morning, but Cas doesn’t. Jess also has tomorrow off to help nurse him to health.” Sam ran his fingers through his hair as he watched Dean heave into the waste basket again with Cas at his side. “I’ll call you when Dean is recovered.”

_“Thank-you. I’ll come by in the morning after I drop Adam off at daycare to see him and bring him a change of clothes.”_

Sam hung up and walked into the guest bedroom. Dean had just finished heaving. “Hey, Dean, are you with us? Are you almost done getting sick?”

“Yeah, Sammy?” Dean lifted his head.

“Hey, man, lay down and go to sleep. Michael is gonna be here in the morning with a change of clothes. You’re gonna stay here for a day or two until your hangover is gone. He doesn’t want that around Adam, which is understandable.”

Dean shook his head. “nonono, Sammy. Gotta go home. Mikey’s gonna be so mad at me.”

“You need to lay down.” Cas pushed Dean backward onto the bed. “Everything can wait until morning or even the day after tomorrow. You’ve had a rough day. You need to sleep.”

It took an hour to get the Winchester asleep. Of course Cas gave in and let Dean cling onto him. He woke up that morning to the Winchester scrambling toward the bathroom. The Novak followed and watched Dean heave into the toilet. “Good morning, Dean.”

“Don’t—“ Dean retched. “Don’t talk.”

“Guess you aren’t feeling great?” Cas propped against the doorway. Jess walked out of the master bedroom. “Good morning, Castiel. You just missed Sam. He left like fifteen minutes ago.”

“I’m just here to watch over Dean.” Cas shrugged. “I thought you had today off.”

“Sam let me know everything. I am a nurse, Cas.” Jess smirked.

“Shut up, please.” Dean groaned.

There was a knock on the door. “Go get the door and I’ll make something for Dean.” Jess shrugged.

Cas opened the door to reveal Michael in a business suit with Adam on his hip. “Michael, I thought you were going to take Adam to daycare.”

“He’s running a 102 fever. Sam said that Jess had today off.” Michael frowned.

“Come in. I can take Adam and you go look at your husband.” Cas stretched out his arms for his nephew. “Dean’s in the bathroom.”


End file.
